DiveMaster Life - a proleptic retrospective

The Dream Team

It has been an interesting generic period of time since the last time our literary paths crossed. I am, for once, not remorseful about the looseness of the consistency of my communications because, for once, I have been actually real-world busy.

The view I force myself out of bed for

I am becoming more involved with life at LD which I am immensely happy about. Naturally, this means I am maybe staying here a little while longer than initially planned so that means that you have more time to come and see me or if you’ve already been once before, then you have ample time to convert that yearning into come back here. It is rare that I will ever admit to this but my Dad has said for quite some time that I should work in the hospitality industry and I always gently (internally) agreed with him but I never really knew HOW on EARTH I could make that transition. It turns out that I have done it accidentally and have destiny and good fortune to thank for giving me this path. Thanks destiny. Thanks good fortune. You’re both awesome.

Look at the concentration on Isac's face

THIS is a Mola Mola. Yeah, I know, it looks like an alien

The last month has been almost utopian in the mix of the guests we have had ranging from two ultra laidback Chinese through to the Beer Jenga loving Scandanavian contingent and so the days continue to wander by sountracked by laughter, excitement and bottles opening. It’s just another day at Liquid Dumaguete. There have been MANY days recently where I walked out of my front door, stood on the balcony and looked out over the views punctuated by coconut palms, tiny boats, gorgeous blue skies with that glorious summer-ish breeze wafting around whereupon I smile to myself and think (in Louis Armstrong’s voice) what a wonderful world. Don't get me wrong, 


the oceans seem to be blooming with the joys of spring and excitement for summer. There have been continued sightings of dolphins on the way to Apo Island and from Sumilon. Ne'er a day goes by without countless stories of turtles (juveniles and dinosaur-like adults), sea snakes and a noticeable abundance of life on the reefs. This in turn has lead to an increase in predatory species to the area. Insta-disclaimer - Let me make this clear, they are predatory to other fish NOT humans. There are some HUGE schools of Jacks, a Great Barracuda, a whole school of juvenile yellowtail barracuda, trevally, a baby Whitetip shark and an adolescent Blacktip shark. AMAZING. Oh and (holy shit) - a Mola Mola - a Sunfish was spotted just down the coast from Liquid HQ.

The Zeagle Scout BCD

As a Divemaster, you are expected to have your own equipment. I am sure I mentioned the other day that I had bought an Aquamundo QR12 first stage and an AROQ2 second stage. They are excellent – pics to follow. This means, I have the breathing apparatus sorted, I have a masks (and dorkel), a noisemaker which is a metallic pink pointer with matching weight belt my favourite blue rash guard and a fetching pair of purple and gold basketball shorts for diving in. It turns out I need a Bouyancy Compensation Device - BCD - which is basically a jacket that you can put air in or take air out of to alter your underwater buoyancy. It is also the means to hold your tank in place and store all the bits and pieces you want to take with you into the blue stuff. There are many MANY types, details and personal preferences to take into account so regardless of whether you like it or not, I will explain why I chose the one I chose - the Zeagle Scout. My prerequisites include the need for a comfortable harness with an easily adjustable fitting system, a back mounted air bladder, lightweight when dry and versatile. I have taken advice and recommendations from many people and I am VERY excited to play with it when I get it. HURRAY!! 

It's not all work work work

It has been a nice time to sit back and think about how life has moved on to the current tangent. I have been a qualified PADI Divemaster for 3 months now and I seem to be enjoying it more and more everyday. If you imagine that is was a year ago today that I first emailed Zoe after a drunken conversation with Gav, a mutual friend of mine and Zoe's, about coming to Liquid. Having signed up for an initial 6 months, you have to remember that I do not think I had ever snorkeled before, I can honestly say that I regret NOTHING. THe life of a DM is not all sleeping on boats, sleeping on sofas or sleeping on the ground. There is diving to do, equipment to talk about and people to please. The INTERESTING thing for me is looking back to my humble diving beginnings and now understanding how they helped prepare me for doing what I do now. From the day arrived I knew I would be being trained in the right place by the right people seeing as the instructor to DMT ratio is usually about 1 on 1 or better (bearing in mind there are 5 instructors living and 'working' here at the moment).

I DO do stuff. HONESTLY I do!! 

Something that surprised me was how useful it was to talk to guests/customers/divers about their experiences and expectations which was made easier by to open plan communal spaces. EVERY NIGHT without fail you will hear talk amongst the hubub about dive gear, best practice, amazing sites and the inevitable nights out that precede too many early mornings after. From a trainee's point of view, the instructors or scheduling overlords employ the stick and carrot method to incentivise you. If you work hard, push yourself and go the extra mile (e.g. cleaning gear even if you are not diving) you will enjoy life much more. The package is set up to help minimise daily living costs and negate the need for additional diving cost so your biggest expense is usually the bar tab, the academic materials as well as any gear you may choose to buy for yourself. The best part for me happened without me really noticing until the time was long passed - you basically end up guiding dives and learning about dive shop operations by the time you finish. THAT is the part I really liked and is super transferable. Interestingly for me, it was not until I had been to other dive shops and seen how they run that I realised what a well run and tight operation Liquid has. Let's not forget that you live, entrenched in a team of like minded people whom you can learn with and from with the prospect of the next beer or Dumatini just a few hours away! Hurrah!! 


I know I talk the big talk about life here but I refuse to use anything but gentle exaggeration, hyperbole and superlatives. To put it bluntly, I am called ALL of YOU out on this. Come find out for yourself (that I am right). I would love to see you.


For now my friends,


Massive amounts of Love (with a capital L),


BeardFace

SEE! Me Demonstrating a 'BSAC ascent'

Dauin, I'm cheating on you... with Malapascua

Sometimes in life you look elsewhere for something new. It can manifest as food envy like when someone orders something that you wish you had. It can be fish envy where another group of divers saw a juvenile, pigmy, flambouyant manta fish (they don't REALLY exist). OR. It can be purely to experience something new and different. I am not for a minute condoning cheating, adultery or cuckoldry BUT I am suggestively suggesting you try new things. It is with this in mind that i metaphorically jumped on Our Old Friend's back on his way to his alma mater - Malapascua Island, Philippines.

"Lads on tour - the journey of awesomeness"

Forget Frodo, the Ring and Mordor we had a hefty 12-18 hour journey ahead - there was DEFINITELY some elasticity in the timings of things. One simply does not GO to Malapascua. We both knew it would be an interesting enterprise when it was a better idea for us to get out the pedi cab and walk for the first kilometre. We kinda missed our first bus but that turned out to be a blessing because we headed for a different ferry and THAT turned out to be much faster. A Ceres (bus) liner was waiting and we boarded to Cebu City - the Big Smoke. Let me explain that Ceres Liners are air-conditioned coaches driven by what I can only assume are trainee Filippino Rally Drivers although, in their defence, the faster they drive the shorter journey.

The Liquid - Aquamundo partnership continues

We arrived in Cebu, the land of buildings, roads, cars and hookers. We had already planned to do some gear shopping but when we found out that there was a TGI Friday's in the Ayala Mall we decided to stay for the night. It was a good choice. We visited AquaMundo who supply the Liquid Dive shop with most of their equipment and were greeted as old friends and treated exceptionally well. I cannot recommend them high enough for the customer service, their product quality, price and also the after-sale service. THANK YOU Joey and the team for your help.

Dona Marilyn - spooky huh

We drank and ate with gay abandon until we had to go home due to over filling. The next day was prefixed by a lunatic cab driver, another bus that we jumped on as it was leaving which is easier said than done with Our Old Friend's 30kg bag of (tech) dive gear and then suffixed by a joyful banker boat ride to Malapascua. It is all too easy to start shouting about white sand this and clear oceans that but for me, it is the closeness of the community here that has fueled the fire in my heart most.



I dived the Dona Marilyn wreck on my first full day and after two almost identical (in a good way) dives I can honestly say I have seen what a huge passeneger ferry looks like when it sinks. This particular ship sank in October 1988 during Typhoon Ruby in 130knot winds. It is slightly spooky and macabre to think that so many people sadly lost their lives in that spot. It was something I pondered while at 30metres. 

Hello my thresher sharky friend

Naturally a fella of my inquisitive nature cannot come to Malapascua and NOT go to see the thresher sharks so me and Our Kid decided to get absolutely obliterated and I ended staying up until 3:30am. This isn't that big of a deal until you realise that the thresher shark dives a Monad leave at 530am. So after one FULL hour's sleep, I was up and at 'em. I felt woefully bad but nothing a few dry heaves did not fix. Honestly, I was fairly underwhelmed. The sharks themselves were beautiful with their long ribbon tails and huge black inquisitive eyes - one of natures curious wonders. *ALERT - SOAP BOX MOMENT*. I don’t understand why everyone is kicking up such a stink over the Oslob whale sharks and the perceived detrimental effect on the migratory pattern while the circus at Monad is going on without any fuss. It was horrible seeing that many incompetent divers ripping up and breaking so much coral. It broke my heart a little bit and tainted the whole experience for me. I would love to encourage you to see the sharks (here)but I genuinely would rather the the fewer people diving there the better. Rant over-ish. I am sorry if i have trodden on anyone's toes or upset anyone BUT, like I said, I am disappointed (said in a Dad voice) that this continues to go on with no backlash. I'd happily hear your thoughts though.


I expect that most evening with continue along the lines of drinking at the Craic House - the Evolution bar - or going visiting and inevitably drinking Filippino style. Drinking Filippino style?What's all this jazz about? In the words of Destiny's Child, I don't think you're ready for this jelly... Basically, everyone sits round, and you all drink for one glass in turn. There is a gunner who is responsible for replenishing the drinking utensil with whatever the communal drink is (usually Tanduay or Red Horse / Gold Eagle - strong beer) and it also the gunner is sets the resulting pace for the night. Usually the faster the pace the better. So much so that if you take too long to drink you are berated with quips along the lines of "are you growing a tree in that". My personal favourite is "a man's not a camel. DRINK". Filippinos like to drink. I like to drink. We are a match made in heaven. Sometimes a drunken match made in heaven... but as long as heaven is there then all is well. Right? 

THIS is a useful reminder. Thanks Cebu

The day that made me smile to the core of my heart

I am only half a man without my pipe

Friends, another period of time has passed and thankfully we are reunited with our physical and mental health intact. For once I shan’t go down the faux-extistensial route about how fragile life is and how much we should cherish every second. Instead, I am going to tell you the story of what I consider to be the best full day – start to finish – almost since I first arrived here.  I appreciate that this a bold and superlative fuelled statement but I have slept on it for a few days and I stand by it.

Liquid Deco Shots - they're dangerously moorish

I will provide you with a little back story for your literary delectation. The resort has been FULL almost to the point of referring to its fullness as chock-a-block which is good for many reasons but mainly because a full resort is a happy resort. All the DMs and DMTs are busy, there is a full diving schedule and the gentle hubbub has been turned up to a roaring cauldron of activity. I have moved out of the DM village and into Grandma Darlene and Grandpa Al’s house with Our Old Friend as acting caretakers which I am very happy about not only because we get on very well BUT because it is nice to have your own self contained space AND the number of hilariously conjugated retorts never ceases to amaze me. Oh and the Liquid Deco Shots have been flowing.

Jari doing his thing

We have a new Rescue Diver/DMT to accompany Berlinda in the ‘journey’ to DiveMasterdom. His name is Jari from Finland and he will be juuuuust fine. If you imagine arriving to a new home to a game of Beer Jenga which had been underway for a while (therefore a fair few drunken people around), he settled straight in to bantering and drinking like a trooper. Welcome Jari. We look forward to many MANY more nights ahead.

The restaurant has been through a bit of a re-structuring under the guidance of Elin and so far the new roles are working like a dream. The standard has somehow increased with a new tinge of variation and much as it feels like a silly thing to talk about - the seasoning is now exemplary. I do have to add a small side point which relates to dessert. You and I already have preconceptions as to what ingredients usually furnish the sweet course of a meal so have a think on this – coconut porridge or maja blanca (coloured blue not white) with sweetcorn or banana and CHEESE crepes. Let me explain now thought that 90% of the time the desserts are magnificent but I had to give an honourable mention to these three.

For those of you who know me, I like to get a job done and I like to do it well. The hallowed day that I speak of is one of those rarities where I came away feeling like I could have done nothing better than what I did. The last few days had been busy in a fairly arbitrary way. I am affectionately known by the other local DMs as a DRIVEMaster as well as a DiveMaster because they see me driving the dive jeep as often as they see me leading dives. I have acted as an interim boat mechanic (I love getting messy trying to fix stuff); a dive guide and buoyancy guru, a never ending source of local knowledge, a cocktail developer as well as a focus for humour and beer. It was on a day punctuated by driving, carrying, liaising, smiling and planning.

The Cars - one Ferrari and one BMW

We had two new guests from Taiwan who were pretty serious divers and photographers who had been left in my charge to take them for two coastal dives using the Lobster. First of all, I LOVE driving that vehicle (it somewhere between a car and a tank). Secondly, as you know, I like to help newbies and pass on something I love, BUT it is wonderfully refreshing to dive without having to worry as much about your fellow divers’ ability. I was a TOUCH nervous because it is often the divemaster’s job to find little critters, interesting things to see as well as showing the dive site, this becomes increasingly prevalent with the divers’ ability mainly because the more ‘run of the mill’ fish you have seen, sadly, the less they are the focus for photographers. We were going to a site called Cars. Why is it called Cars? Is this a whitty, kooky joke? Nope. Basically there are two cars and a bunch of other foreign metal object sunk in the water at around 25metres. But this is pollution no? Under managed circumstances metal objects vastly encourage marine growth and much more so than natural organic matter. It will take around 6months for a metal object to be teeming with life whereas wood will take a few years to become ensconced with macro life.

Scorpion Fish

Ornate Ghost PipeFish

We walked into the water from the shore and meandered our way towards the cars. Me being me, I decided to take an alternative route via a few mooring blocks I knew of an BINGO we started off with a Donald duck shrimp and three sleeping juvenile lion fish. Confidence was on its way up. We moved deeper along the slope and found a few small coral lumps and some tangled rope where Cathy found a beautiful flamboyant cuttlefish – AWESOME. The three of us were a good team. I searched out the broader area ahead, I would alert Cathy to what I had found and she would wait for Star to come with his huge sea monster of a camera rig.  Star was busily and expertly taking photos always being careful not to get in anyone’s way or interrupting our marine hosts. I will not over describe what else happen EXCEPT what we found: two species of moray eels intertwined together, a scorpion fish, a large Sea Moth with iridescent blue fin tips, a bunch (not sure of the collective noun) of Lion fish – BEAUTIFULLY DANGEROUS, glass shrimp and 5, yes FIVE ornate ghost pipefish. The pipefish were a huge deal for me because I had never found ANY on my own before and they were the FIRST critters I was ever shown back on my first dive with DM Dan back in the day. Back then I had not real interest or understanding of the skill it takes to spot these tiny, camouflaged creatures so there was a nice circularity there for me.

There was a tidy little challenge embedded within this dive because it appears the Star and Cathy did not really need to breathe underwater, so for the first time in a LONG time, I was having to carefully monitor and ration my air consumption. It turns out that after an hour dive with most of it at a decent depth which increases consumption speed due to increased pressure and therefore air density, (well within our deco limits), we all finished with about a third of our air left. AWESOME DIVE. I could quite happily say that it was one of the best dives I have ever had the honour of being on let alone led. Adam = Happy BeardFace. The rest of the day panned out nicely, with fun and laughter, drinks were drunk and stories were shared. BLISS.

Since then I have lead many MANY customers around and continue to see amazing and beautiful creatures. I think I am in love with the ocean a little bit. I now have a favourite nudibranch (literal translation – naked lung because they breathe through their skin) Funeral Jurona. Having a favourite nudibranch was something I always gently scoffed at when i first started diving however, now I understand what the fuss is about. Look them up. 

Life here is becoming increasingly addictive. The people I call my friends are slowing setting up camp the long term section of my heart and I continue to look forward to writing to you. ALL OF YOU.

I have not been listening to as much music as usual BUT somehow (and I am not usually a fan) but FatBoy Slim’s – Don’t Let The man Get You down(Pay Your Debts) has been on constant rotation in my brain. Maybe it’s the aptness of the line “and the long haired freaky people need not apply...”

I hope whatever you are doing and wherever you are, I find you in good health and high spirits. I cannot wait to see you again and when I do... HUGS ALL ROUND!!! Hurroo!!

Love as usual,

BeardFace

A special thanks to Star, Mark Pacey and Anna for letting me use their photos in this blog!

PS. TELL YOUR FRIENDS

PPS. Yeah, that is a photo of me with a magnifying glass and 'smoking' my pipe while diving

I love it when a plan comes together

I sit here as Juilette plays guitar, I sink further and further, deeper and deeper into and smug warmth that is almost comparable to a euphoric sense of content. Why would a man use such hyperbole with such little regard for those words not considered to be worthy of the term superlative? As Our Old Friend said to me today (as a joke as I took a slightly different path back from the beach) – “the last thing Liquid needs is a maverick Ads”. Well basically, I am coming off the back of an indescribably wonderful series of days. Admittedly, I said indescribable BUT, as you can guess, I am going to describe them now.

Let me set the scene. If you have been lucky enough to read some of my words before, then you will know how beautiful Liquid Dumaguete is. Let me go a little less mainstream in my description now. My name is Adam WonderBear Detre. You know this. I am called many things by many people BUT, those out there who know me best/closest they call me Ads or Bear. I don’t know whether it is something from childhood or whether it is the comfort of feeling close to someone purely by what/how they call you, regardless, I like being called by a familiar name. It was hard leaving the UK this time around so when I came back and my friends and family here called me Ads, it made the transition a little bit easier to the point of filling my heart with a little bit of joy. The people here managers, staff and guests alike are AWESOME.

I digress. Diving. That is what I do and that is why I have my alarm set earlier here than back home in the UK for my former office job. It has been a tremendous few weeks of day trips to Apo Island, Siquijor and Sumilon Island; on top of all this there have been a multitude of coastal dives and of course, a massive number of PADI certifications. My personal highlights include diving at Apo with Sandra. Much as she was a lovely lady, it was more what happened than with who. Gui and I were working together which is something I always enjoy and we had decided on trying the Coconut Point drift dive. A drift is when you drop in on a site that has a known current and you ‘ride’ it, much like skydiving sideways… underwater… This particular dive definitely got the adrenaline pumping as we hit medium-strong horizontal AND down currents gently sending us over a variety of Apo’s famously exquisite corals. Not only this, but in one of the few current shadows, we stumbled across a HUGE (bold, caps, underline and italics intended) fish called a Jack. I estimated it to be around 2-2.5metres long and maybe a 1metres tall. Let me put it this way, it put Morris the resident BIG Grouper (found at Publacion) to shame.

Earnie the Eel

Having worn the guests/students out a tiny bit, Gui and I decided to have a nice relaxing shallow dive to finish the day. Sandra and I wandered off around the shallows at Katu Panan – one of my favourite dive sites in the area – and we immediately blessed with the gift of a turtle feeding on some soft coral. He seemed pretty chilled out and very comfortable with us being there so we stayed for five minutes always respecting his space and not busying up his area too much. This is something I strongly believe in. We, as divers, are VISITORS to the underwater worlds so we should ALL leave stuff ALONE. Mini-rant done. We continued to wander around at around 7metres deep (it’s not all about depth y’know) and once again, lucky us, we stumbled across a fluorescent green hermit crab the name of which we have not been able to determine yet. Awesome. Quite content with having found these two I felt like my work there was done. Oh no. As if by magic, I was staring blankly at a rock trying to centre and focus my thoughts, during which and to my amazement, I found myself eyeballing an octopus poking his head out of a crack in said rock. Double-awesome. Ok, so at the risk of showing off, it does not stop there. Sandra had been asking to see a sea snake all day, so I was pretty keen to pander to her desires. It was as if I had set everything up so that while hovering at 5metres for our safety stop, I looked down to see an iridescent snake eel gliding through the corals. I nonchalantly tapped her on the shoulder to point it out and right on cue, she squealed with delight.

a tiny TINY crab

All this sounds fairly unimportant BUT as a DM (oh yeah, I passed all my exams) part of your role is to not only guide dives but also point out local wildlife. Anyone can spot a fish because there are loads but spotting a rare fish or a tiny organism or downright weird something-or-other is a bit of an art form. That afternoon was one of the first where I felt I was able to accomplish this to a creditable level. I have a LOT to learn from Alfred who has telescope eyes while being a bastion of aquatic knowledge.

Our Old Friend has recently started on the road to his dream diving job. He has started his Tec Diver training courses which will take him towards becoming a Tec Diving Instructor. What is Tec Diving? Isn’t diving diving? ‘Fraid not. There is recreational diving which is generally run by the associations you have heard of – most notably PADI and sends people down to 40metres (having passed a Speciality Deep Dive Certification). Tec Diving is more like what you imagine hardcore diving to be like - lots of tanks that look like jetpacks. Plus, from what I can glean, lots of clips and extra gear that sounds cool and does amazing things with minimal margins for error. There is an extraordinary amount of theory that accompanies the practical side of things and THIS in itself is worth looking it to. It covers everything from manufacturing principles and servicing through to human physiology and psychology. It is the closest manifestation of diving that I know of that takes it from being an activity to way of life. There is no limit or end to the learning and development involved. Plus it gives Our Old Friend and excuse to indulge his favourite activity – talking about, playing with and buying new dive gear.

This week has gently been soundtracked by The Stornoways – We are the Battery Humans. AND Bright Eyes – First day of my life. I could write for HOURS about this song. It is easily one of the greatest songs of my lifetime. Listen to it and create your own memories. You will not regret it I promise.

I have talked a lot today and I have not even mentioned the important bits that I was going to write about. I would have put exclamation marks at the end of the last sentence but I have the voice of my old English teacher shouting at me not to so please imagine that the last sentence was accented by three exclamation marks. I will try and give a brief photographic run down of what else has happened:

We celebrated the 30th year of Gui being born

The Liquid Dumatini was created

Eva had her snorkel test

I had MY snorkel test - Branston Pickle included

From all of us here - G'BYE FOR NOW!!  

Back into the (DiveMaster) thick of it

WOW, has it been that long already. You have to understand that I have no idea what day of the week it is. Sometimes, I wake up and I am scared that it is the day after tomorrow, then I realise/hope that someone would have come to check I was alive. (The photo? Yeah, that’s me… in the tropics… Yeah, I know. My hair looks great. THANKS!)

I have indulged myself over the last few missives mainly by spouting my internal flim-flam and mental wonderings but it appears that it was at the detriment of actual CONTENT. People like to read about actual things. So this time, I am making a conscious effort to have a focus. Let’s try talking about diving. Are you sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin.

My days are orientated by whether I am diving or not and if it I am assisting on a course. This week has been all about assisting for me and all the other DiverMaster Trainees (DMTs)… yeah, I know, there are more of us now. There is Eva who was here when I arrived back. From what I have seen and been told, she can hold her own in the bar and definitely in the ocean. Suzi/Suzanne loved being in the water and no matter what time of day, I turn around and she is in the pool. Me OBVIOUSLY – ‘the first’ and original zero to hero Liquid DiveMaster. Laura is here doing her rescue and this time next week she will be working towards her DM. AND FINALLY, Juilette arrived with wide eyes and calm, understated excitement. Alfred the resort’s official DiveMaster continues to be an inspiration and then there are our instructors - Gui ‘le beurre’ and then is our old friend who is wandering about in the depths of the blue surrounding Malapascua. Basically, there are LOADS of new people. Oh how could I forget, Phil and Elin are here now under the guise of Management and all round badasses. So far, they had a wonderful impact on the place LONG may it continue.

The staff have taken been given the chance to do their Open Water and so the pool has been filled with excited Filippinos and (slightly) frantic DMTs trying to stop them floating away, drinking the water out of their snorkels and generally keeping everything in control. The role of a DMT while assisting is basically to make sure everything that the instructor needs in on hand, while also looking after students and perhaps helping them through the trickier skills. Personally, I LOVE assisting on courses because you get to see people happy shock and growing awe at how easy it is to breath underwater and THEN there are the fish. EVERYWHERE. I get a properly euphoric feeling when diving with newbies because it reminds me of why I am here and invigorates me even on the slowest of days. Gui and I are becoming a better and better team which is gently solidifying a friendship for many years to come. It’s not all rainbows and butterflies. While assisting in the open water we basically end up riding the student’s tank ‘like a little pony’ (my words) to make sure they do not ascend too quickly.

Daily life is hotting up both literally (the sun is back… and this time it want revenge) and metaphorically. The life of a DiveMaster and the training that precedes it is fairly all encompassing. Of an average day, I can expect to be welcoming new guests *INSERT HOLLYWOOD WINK AND GUN*, cleaning and servicing equipment, mapping new dive sites or errrrr, DIVING. More accurately, I could be guiding, briefing procedures for, buddy-ing up with guests or assisting Gui on certifications. This week Suzi, Eva and I have been refining our skills to “demonstration quality”. What are these skills you talk of? Witchcraft? Shamanism? Baking? Nope. I am talking about displaying diving techniques. These vary greatly from clearing your mask of water, removing and replacing your weight-belt while underwater or air depletion scenarios. What is this demonstration quality malarkey and why is it necessary for a DiveMaster? Ultimately if I am assisting on a course it may be the case that need to help a student if they are having problems with a skills so demonstration quality basically means slow, grand gestures with plenty of “remember, don’t put your mask on upside down” using only hand signals. It’s like training to be an aquatic Marcel Marceau.

Fear not good people, most of the times in between these strenuous and hectic days, I am found reclining in my favourite corner of the chill out area or propping up the bar. Both important parts of my personal life training. It was with sheer delight that a good friend from my previous life in London – Gav - was out here whence I returned. He is the reason I ended up in this corner of paradise because he put me in touch with Zoe last April. April 10th to be precise. I think that day will be forever etched into my life as a turning point. Thanks Gav, it was properly wonderful to see you here even overlapped for only a few days. Gav and I worked together and shared MANY a night in the pub, so bringing him, Zoe (a childhood friend since the age of 3), me and everyone else at liquid together… on a night out… could only end in carnage. It is here that I will use a direct quotation from Gav himself:

“Well last night went like this - 4 dinners between 3, jugs of cocktails, Philippine Reggae band, 9 people on a tricycle, random club, dice based drinking game, accidental punch on the nose, French love triangle, drunken man from Lincoln, disgruntled prostitutes, fun with static electricity and a bear, 4 people sleeping in a tricycle, a torchlit walk home and a persistent ladyboy called Stephen then some excellent star gazing from a volcanic beach. Pretty average Wednesday night really”

I don’t think I need to elaborate.

I thought I would leave you with MY favourite underwater creature that I have found and fortunately for me, they are along the coast. It is a flambouyant cuttle fish. They are about 1-2 inches long. If you wave your hand near them, first they go into hover mode THEN, they go crazy displaying white and purple stripes. I am not sure if you have ever seen a cuttle fish BUT they are able to change colour to blend with their surroundings. They display these colours to confuse and put-off any predators. Have a look HERE for a video taken my John one of our former guests.

I have a listen to Michael Kiwanuka - Home Again. Don’t get me wrong, I am not homesick BUT I love my home, my friends and my family both here and in the UK. This song fills me with a warmth that could only be emulated by having all these people in one place. One beautiful place.

Take it easy people.

Until the next time, Ads

Heading home (soon)

This week has been highglighted (for want of a better word) by the weather and if you want me to be more precise then I will specifiy the WIND in particular. If you imagine the scene, a glassy smooth ocean with the sun rising behind it and a gentle breeze cooling you to the perfect temperature then you will be and as I was imagining Liquid (I think that is the simplest abbreviation) on a normal day. HOWEVER, I had not factored in Beelzebub nor Aeolus. They are two fellas / mythic beings who should NOT be messed with. Naturally though, we had Roy, Vince, Julias and the rest of the boat crew on our side so we braved the high seas and went on an adventure to Apo. This is usually a fairly simple undertaking. The return leg was a lot of fun and most enjoyable with our implicit confidence in the crew. The seas were ROUGH with 10-15 foot swells. Having said all this, calm has been resorted to our little corner of the Philippines now and we are once again bless with glassy seas and sunny skies (MOST of the time).

Thursday 24^th November saw an away day for most of the staff and guests to the Drill Shack for a Thanksgiving meal. I am not American so you could argue that I am jumping on a bandwagon but if you ask me bandwagons are there to be jumped on sometimes. ESPECIALLY those that encourage togetherness, community and socialising with friends and family, close and new. Plus, I am pretty thankful in general at the moment AND I LOVE turkey. I consider this to be a warm up for Christmas – another time I love. I have pretty much finished my international christmas shopping so I hope (some) of you folks are looking forward to Filippino/Malaysian themed gifts!

I have recently made a new friend. She has gorgeous, glossy blond hair, blue blue eyes, a wonderful smile and she LOVES to use her tongue (bear with me)... She likes nothing more than lazy Sundays, long walks along the beach,swimming in the ocean and a drink at the end of the day. Her name is Polka and she is a golden retriever. Solymar and I WITH Polka’s assistance have been searching for treasure up and down the beach when we take her for walks. If we are lucky we have Captain Kai along for assistance. He is particularly good at spotting boats and the moon. He is pivotal to our success.

John and Ro left and to be honest, they were wonderful people and definitely brightened up the place with their laid back and cheerful demeanour. Don’t misinterpret that by imagining that Liquid is not still the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow BUT they helped us turn the joy-factor up to eleven. We have had a series of guests coming and going and we are currently fairly quiet with a fair few arrivals on the horizon.

I think I should probably start talking about diving a little bit seeing as that is pretty much my favourite passtime these days. Gui (with my assistance) has been certifying divers left right and centre and with James being the latest addition to the PADI Family (yuck, I can’t believe I just wrote that) having passed his open water and I now moving on to his Advanced Open Water cert. Chapel dive site at Apo? Yeah, I think so. Interestingly enough, Gui and I  were very lucky on our last trip to Apo because we (and by we I mean the boat crew) spotted a juvenile whale shark. I have heard rumors and stories of these beautiful creatures but I was not even close to being prepared for how majestic they really are. I named this one Andrew (in my head), he was roughly 4-5metres long and was quite content hanging out next to the boat while we gasped and excitedly chattered BUT for inexplicable reasons neither Gui nor I thought to grab our snorkels and jump in. This is something we mutually berate ourselves about often.

As for me, I have passed my first DiveMaster exams with 100%, yeah, I know, I am awesome and having assissted in enough courses to appease the criteria I am ploughing through my course while still managing to be in no particular hurry. I am heading home for a few weeks but fear not, not only will I continuing furninshing your internets with my thoughts BUT I will be returning triumphantly in January to finish off my certification and continue to make rainbow coloured waves in the PADI community. (Yeah, I know I look like a walnut).

Before I leave there is the important detail of Keith aka Lolo and his imminent depature. Being the gentleman that he is, and I use the term loosely, he has kindly bought a lechon for family, friends, guests and staff. I am hilariously excited about this. Filippinos know how to cook a whole pig. I will tell you in GREAT detail about it once it has happened. On a serious note, I will miss him for many reasons and the place will not be the same without him BUT is wonderful wife Claire arrives at the end of Jan so I look forward to that with excitement.

YEAH. That's numerical bullet points

I write this while getting my hair plaited. I needed to get that off my chest. I’ve said it now and there is nothing I can do to take it back. Judge me if you dare. It has been a fun filled and busy week here at Liquid headquarters. I’ll give you a quick lowdown.

1.       The DiveMaster Village has started to come together

2.       Sasha and I have passed our Rescue Diver course

3.       Stephen and Peggy left BUT now we have John and Ro (not to mention a hoard of French botanists plus another couple due tomorrow.

4.       Keith aka Lolo and Claire’s house has been completed and Keith spent a wonderfully cool first night sleeping there last night

5.       I have bought a dive computer

I’ll break these down for you as to why they are interesting/important/noteworthy. For Reference’s sake, I shall write a small directive relating to its numerical co-hort above. Interesting? I don’t care whether YOU think it is, I LOVE this kind of geekery.

1.       We/ I am very lucky to be one of the longterm “guests” here. I am one of three at the moment. There is Gui, the classically handsome French, butter loving Instructor; myself – hairy, happy, heart-makingly happy and our old friend – superbly knowledgeable, hard working and a good partner for propping up the bar. As an aside note, I personally use the term heart-makingly as the antithesis of hear-breakingly. If you have a better idea, please get in touch. WE are going to inhabiting the DiveMaster Village which will give us a room each with a communal self-contained eating, sleeping, sitting, washing, cooking, talking, eating and SLEEPING area. Yeah, I meant to put eat and sleeping in twice for added contextual importance.

2.       If you were paying attention you would have noticed that last week I wrote “Saniya and I successfully passed our Rescue diver exams”. There were a series of moments where we both thought we had finished the course (having being told so – a simple mistake to make), only to hear an “Oh no! There is a non-responsive diver in the water” or “where’s Gui? I saw him out in the reef about 100 metres that way” only to find him/them at the bottom being non-breathing divers in trouble. S’ok, we saved them. It took a fair amount of convincing to assure us that we HAD finished. We, are now RESUCE DIVERs ready to respond to your rescuing needs which being well accomplished and responsible rescue divers means we will pro-active prevent as many problems arising as possible.

3.       John and Ro are here with their limitless enthusiasm, smiling demeanour and GREAT diving videos. Four dives a day for the next week then? Don’t mind if I do! THANKS. The French ‘botanists’ arrive tomorrow so Gui will be able to happily talk to them in his mother tongue without fear of reprisal or the micky being taken. The interesting question is whether they like to dive? We have been informed that they like plants and nudibranchs. The trickier part is how they relate. The running thought is that PERHAPS they will like coral as well. I think they will especially because the coral here is magnificent and has left most of our past guests speechless. I look forward to their arrival.

4.       Keith’s house which is the lower floor if the grandparents’ villa has been completed. In the process, Tim and I were ‘asked’ to build Kieth a kitchen cabinet. When I say asked, I mean cajoled. When I say cajoled I mean told that it was part of my DiveMaster training. Little did they know that I quite enjoy building stuff so I was happy. Watch how it went here!

5.       A dive computer. Is this necessary? Isn’t it just big boys toys? To be honest. No. It is a vital piece of diving equipment. Yeah, I know, electronic tape measures and USB laser pointers are also vital but in this case it serves a heavily practical purpose. I’m not sure if you knew but as you dive (deeper) an increasing amount of nitrogen is absorbed into the blood, so computers are there to make sure thatyou stay within the conservative limits by tracking your depth and time and reducing the possibility of decompression illnesses... Decompression illness is NOT GOOD. Do stuf that stops it being a possibility. PLUS, if all goes to plan, then I will be doing this for a fair while with (good) people being my resonpnsibility so it would be negligent NOT to have a computer to help plan my dives with them. If you are interested, I am going to get a Suunto Vyper.

I hope that all is well whereever you may be. I think that if you’re feeling a bit down on your luck or in need of a life-is-good boost then, honestly, you should start considering a visit to these shores. Not only would yo ube welcomed by a big smile, cold beer a-plenty and wonderful food, you will also have to deal with sun, sand, and the sound of the ocean waves. G’waan. Do it. I promise you won’t regret it

S'ok. I'll Rescue you!

My moments of introspection are few and far between and are often dispelled my even stronger feelings of content. It dawned on me the other day that I am coming up to six months of being away and that is something that surprised me. Six. Months. Much like how my GCSEs felt like an eternity away when I was twelve years old, this is a milestone that I never imagined I would reach with such consistent and persistent happiness.

I can’t remember who it was that I was talking to the other day, but it is the people I have met along the way who have made this trip so wonderful for me. They range from the ever changing family that I have here a Liquid (yeah I know I go on about the ‘family’ here a lot but it is uniquely special. Deal with it. Jealousy is not a virtue!!) through to Aran, the ANCIENT Iban head man from Murudi, Sarawak. Aran and I did not share a common language in that he only spoke Iban and I spoke a smattering of English and even less Bahasa Melayu (Malaysian). I think the only way you could find out his age would be to cut him in half and count the rings although I’d estimate him to be between two and three hundred years old. This is a picture of Aran not me.

This week has been filled with rescue, rescue, rescue and much as I anticipated I have LOVED every second PLUS, it has been a fun physical and mental challenge. Gui has been an excellent instructor with a great deal of insightful and useful input from Tim so it is with this in mind that I stupidly highly recommend doing your Rescue Diver certification... HERE. We have covered everything from the physiology of diving related accidents through to the psychology of being rescued interspersed with various people drowning or going missing in a variety of wonderfully imaginative places. Thanks to all those who took part in jangling my nerves for this week... including JUST before dinner. SEE! Saniya still finding time to smile for the camera!

Today, as I sit here and write this, I am still basking in the glow of two things. The first is not really worth of basking but I am basking by proxy. Saniya and I successfully passed our Rescue diver exams, me with 47 out of 50 and Saniya, a native Russian speaking girl from Kazakhstan, passed with 48 out of 50. Will I ever live this down? No. Oh AND the second. I found somewhere in town that sold HUNGARIAN sausage with fried egg and rice for breakfast. Not only was it an actual sausage with meat in it BUT it tasted like it had been made with Hungarian influeces. The meat content statement relates to the Philippine love of flourescent ‘hot dogs’ often served with marshmallows. My Hungarian sausage commen relates to my Greco-Hungarian origins. Dad. It tasted good.

So. Marshmallows with hot dogs. Yeah. Seriously. It’s a Phillipino birthday treat. It was Jaako and Saniya’s birthday so we celebrated with a rescue scenario, meat with sweets and barbequed fish. Drinks were drunk. Candles were blown out and merriment was made. It, as usual, was a great evening and the food was  TREAT. Peddy and Ginalyn did themselves proud.

The kids have been hanging around a lot which has been a lot of fun BUT I do not think I am ready QUITE yet for little ones of my own. Don’t worry world, I will one day but I am fairy sure you will know all about it. For now, sunny days with copious amounts of swimming, eating and drinking are just the ticket. I will happily go swimming with Solymar and watch cartoons with Kai Kai any time they want. If this was an equation for life then the solution would be Life is good. Tatty bye now

Disclaimer: The cheesiness of that final paragraph is not my fault. I think the sun must be getting to me or something else that absolves me from blame.

Four weeks in NOW WITH PUMPKINS

Alright alright alright!! I know it’s late. I know I said I would write every Wednesday but I think you were getting complacent and so I wanted to put a bit of pizzazz back into our relationship. Y’know, keep it interesting. I can only assume from your evil death-stare-eyes that my intentions have been misguided. I am aware of my mistake but I am not sorry. I not a machine I have feelings and needs too y’know.

It is with stagnation in mind that I ponder WHY it is that I have delay/paused/procrastinated this week.(As an aside, I am the overlord of literary segues). It came to me as I woke up this morning. I THINK I am becoming accustomed to my life. Worryingly, I am on the verge of being de-sensitised to this glorious place which is slowly giving me an idyllic life beyond my comprehension.

The last week has been highlighted by comings and goings of Jaakko and Petro, Emy, Ryan, Reed and Kirsten with their adorable children, Duncan and Amanda left us but NOT before a pumpkin carving with Solymar and Kai Kai. I have never really made jack o’lanterns. So two things happened that night. I carved my first pumpkin AND learned that they are called jack o’lanterns. This place just keeps on giving. It was a great night for all.

On top of all this an old friend of Tim and Zoe’s and an Exotic veteran. He will definitely add a lot to this place I call home. We have already been on a few good dives, I have been given a few great bits of advice and shared many laughs. Between he, Gui and I think life here is only getting better.

Saniya and I started our Rescue Diver course on Friday. Much studying has already happened (see below).

 I KNOW I am going to like this. I was lucky enough to take part in a fairly serious Jungle and wilderness first aid course earlier this summer and I LOVED that... apart from being woken up at 4am for a rescue scenario where the victim had ruptured their spleen. Turns out you can’t fix that in the jungle. I wonder what will be thrown at us next. So far you should be relieved to know that we rescue the dinosaurs.

I KNOW I am wearing a towel on my head so that I concentrate on the bearing and Saniya uses her eyes for looking. Turns out that that is important.

My excitement seldom subsides. Day to day, I find myself more and more content. The weather does not seem to be getting worse despite Keith’s prophecies of doom about the weather and they say it is going to turn cooler. Happiness is currently spelled L-i-q-u-i-d D-u-m-a-g-u-e-t-e

Until the next time wonderful people and in the mean time when are you coming to see us!!