London - I love this little old Town

Me. Working... In an office

 Believe it or not, there was a life before adventurism and even a life before beards for me and most of that period was located in a small town called London in England. This palpitation-inducingly exciting place is where I am from and still where I gently refer to as Home. So, why after all this time am I (clearly) going to start talking about it now? Honestly, because I find myself conversing with people along my way who always want to know what London town would be like if they were there with me. Hence this little communiqué which I hope will encapsulate my love of my city. My way. Just a small disclaimer which will basically state (as usual) that some of this information might be factually wayward but all mentioned with an honest heart and an eager excitement which is unique to me on a wonderful day showing friends around ‘my back garden’.

I’ll start a day with Dray Walk which is in the often hipsterish, very current and sadly ultra fashionable Shoreditch/Hoxton/Brick Lane trifector - EC1. To be more accurate, Dray Walk is a small pedestrianised street just off Brick Lane (also known as BanglaTown). Dray Walk – a little street has some of London’s coolest clothing boutiques each with their own take on the current urban sartorial climate. Sadly, last time I was there I found my favourite shop – Junky Stylings – had moved on BUT it left behind a fair few pretenders to its throne. (Turns out it has moved round the corner to Hackney Road). On top of this, there are countless (I mean that literally) second hand, vintage and uniquely HoxDitch clothing shops, market stalls, pop-up shops and jewellery store - @WORK. Clothes clothes clothes. Blah blah blah. Ok, so you’re not interested in looking on/off trend. Fine. There is Spitalfields nearby with shopping and food aplenty OR, you can go for a drink in The Big Chill bar. It is a bar. It serves booze. It plays awesome and varied music. It is usually very busy at the times you would expect but the bar staff are friendly, often funny and sometimes entertainingly moody BUT always proficient. Best whisky sour in London... Maybe. Wow. This place is like Vegas but without the flashing lights and entertainment. OH NO. You WAIT. I need to mention Rough Trade East. An independent record store/label with its ear to the ground on pretty much all types of music outside of the mainstream. It has a great atmosphere drawing on the best part of Championship Vinyl and Empire Records while putting them in the perfect location. One of the best parts is their in-store gigs. These happen OFTEN and range from up and coming bands through to Radiohead. In a RECORD STORE. Oh and they are usually free or you have to purchase the album of the performer hn advance. Massive recommendation. Take a punt on a random band and I think you will be happily surprised. Afterwards, don’t forget to go for a salt beef or smoked salmon and cream cheese beigel from the 24hour beigel shop at the TOP of Brick Lane. I am loyal to the one closest to Bethnal Green Road. Nice. I’m on the tube while writing this. I am fairly sure people are reading this as I go. I would if I was them. I love this city.

I am a huge fan of the Great British institution call the living room. That room full of soft furnishings the warmest heater and of course THE TELEVISION where people gather and ‘live’ (?!?). Back in my Champagne Charlie days, I befriended a bar manager who eventually moved on to a new bar JUST off Regents Street on a pedestrianised side street called Heddon Street. Little did I realise that he was managing what would become my go to bar in London. The Living Room. Amazing cocktails served by EXTREMELY talented and knowledgeable bar staff. I like talking to these guys because they all have interesting backgrounds PLUS they know the things about liquid alchemy that us lowly consumers would pay dearly to know. I usually give them a set of parameters and let them make me a drink of their choice usually with AMAZING results. Ask for Gareth to make a cherry amaretto sour for him and a Raspberry Colonel for her. Play my favourite game of each person orders for the other. The food is good too if not quite pricey even by London standards. Interesting fact – it used to be a post office which was featured in David Bowie’s album Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars.

Heddon Street is a London treat

As a little aside, Heddon Street is a GEM. Pedestrianised (I seem to be obsessed with pedestrianisation). It is lined with nice restaurants, clubs and bars including Strawberry Moons - HORRIBLE except for the fact it was the first club I went to when I was 16 - Momo – an upmarket Morrocan place which serves the Momo Special. A DEE-LIGHTFUL cocktail and OUTSTANDING food (again pricey) – and finally Tibits – a buffet style vegetarian restaurant where they charge you based on the weight of you meal so aim for the alfalfa sprouts.

The Soho Special. If I had a child I would want it to look
like this

If you were to ask me what a perfect night: on a date, with friends or on your own (I have actually done this) would start at the aforementioned Living Room and then a wander through Carnaby Street then on to one of my favourite ‘things’ which is the GIANT plug on the corner of Marshall Street (opposite Marsala Zone which is a find in itself). Eventually arrive at (what used to be) a perfect little secret – Bodeans - which is London’s prime BBQ smokehouse. The ground floor is good for dining informally sitting at shared tables or the basement is ‘proper’ seated dining. Personally, being a compulsive face wiper when eating, I LOVE that they have a roll of kitchen towel always within arms’ reach as well as a variety of sauces including their house Chipotle BBQ sauce. Basically. Eat pulled pork. Drink Sam Adams. Get mess on your face. Wipe it off. Go for a long walk afterwards. Sleep well. I ALWAYS order the Soho Special (sandwich) and an extra mayonnaise helping for the side. You’ll see why. They are open until 11ish so a perfect post cocktails feed. If you don’t fancy sticky messy tasty food then try Busaba round the corner – glorious Thai influenced East Asian cuisine. To be honest, if you like squid then go there for that alone. Their Thai Calamari with green pepper corns and ginger is OUTSTANDING, a life-changer. Perchance one happens to be around there during the day, head over to So High SoHo (on Berwick Street) to have a glimpse into the dress-up counter-culture.

If. IF. You were of a mind to listen to my advice then you would go for a decent constitutional walk ideally with some music in your ears or a person at your side and a contented spring in your step. You would gently head North (ish) towards a magical land called Fitzrovia and hopefully to the Fitzroy Garden Square. Stay there for a little while. Absorb the you are in central London but have found a pristinely quiet place to gather your thoughts of an evening.

Isn't it beautiful

Picture the scene. It’s evening. It’s sunny (you might need to use your imagination). You’re in central London and you stumble across a place called Primrose Hill. It sounds lovely. It is lovely. I love parks. I love open spaces. I even really like trees and grass and benches. Primrose Hill not only sounds delightfully quaint BUT it is honestly a ruby in the dust. I would suggest taking a bottle of something to drink, a rug to sit on and a blanket to curl up in (not matter what time of year you go) and be sure to pack a warm sense of content. Have a few drinks, share some company and THEN order a pizza from Firezza or if you’re like me then Dominos. I have done this a few times and the last time I ordered an extra one to give away to people. Amazing how quickly a barter economy can be initiated these days, especially if you have pizza on offer. If you don’t fancy pizza in the park head to Lemonia on Regent’s Park Road. Probably the BEST atmosphere, tastiest Greek food and brilliant service all rolled into one. G’waaan. Treat yourself.

Let’s say you found yourself in the London Bridge area. What to do? Oh GOSH. WHAT to do. Fear not, I have THE perfect way to spend a morning, lunchtime or evening. It is cheap and accessible to EVERYone. You go for a walk towards Lambeth Palace (so you will need to head West). If you have thought it through you’ll pick up provisions from Borough Market and maybe something to sup for the way. I recommend a roast pork sandwich, some fancy browner-than-brown bread, a chunk of (24 month old) Comte and a few dark ales. By the way, there is ACTUALLY a Comte stand if you were worried. Head passed Shakespeare’s commemorative window in Southwark Cathedral and then onwards to the river. There is a path that runs all the way along the riverside. You’ll be lucky enough to pass many MANY pubs, the Globe Theatre, the Tate Modern (be sure to enter from the East Turbine Hall entrance for maximum impact), the Millennium Bridge, the London Eye, opposite the Houses of Parliament and finally Lambeth Palace and its Museum of Garden History. Rock and roll people. This walk is possibly even MORE beautiful at night. Perhaps drop in to the terrace outside the Southbank centre. The Southbank Centre has a brilliant selection of venues so have a look in advance and take a risk with seeing something new – my favourite punt was going to see Shlomo’s premier performance of Concerto for Beatbox.

LOOK! What fun he is having (that's not me)

You’re still full of beans and in the mood to park-hop? Onwards and upwards then. Head NorthEast towards the House of Parliament, through Parliament Square and take a look at its resident protestors some of whom I think are inspirational, others are examples of what is wrong in the world. First stop is St James’ Park with its rare birds which live on their lake. Seriously, there are a pair of pelicans and a few black swans to say the least. Through Green Park and on to Hyde Park. The jewel in London’s crowd. This is one of my first stops whenever I am back in Blighty. I adore/love/cherish this spectacular area of greenery. If you do nothing else, go to the Serpentine Gallery and then onto the Serpentine itself and take a rowing boat out for an hour with the paper and a cup of tea. AAAAAAAAAAH. England.

I am finding it hard to tell a story or find a way of integrating these next hotspots into a plan so I will just blurt them out. Go to Highgate Woods. Go to Highgate and drink at ALL the pubs there. THEN. Go to The Boogaloo and dance a lot to the most wonderful variety of music ranging fromr 50s RnB through to cutting edge folktronica. I love it there. It is small. It has sticky floors. It has soul.

I appreciate I have said a lot about walking here and eating there and looking up at things. I hope I have given you some simple ideas. One that doesn’t get too much simpler involves a bit of personal transport - ideally a car or a bicycle but preferably a car. Failing all of this. Walk it.  Basically. Go into the city and drive around AT NIGHT. Get lost. Marvel at the little bits and pieces. I stress that you should do this at night so it is quieter. There are few things as serene as an empty city. When you get peckish head towards the South end of Edgware Road (it is a VERY long road) to where all the Middle Eastern restaurants are. Pick one that looks nice (I have no direct preference although Ranoush is great) or has a long queue and be ready for anyone who speaks the lingo to jump the queue. Order a chicken shwrama or a spicy lamb shwarma with a melon juice – has to be experienced to be understood. To the untrained eye, this looks like a doner kebab but these far surpass anything you will have eaten from your local ‘bab dealer. Preferably you would finish around dawn so you can see the sun rise over the Thames and be tucked up in bed before the rest of London catches on to what you are doing.

Life is too short for me to write EVERYTHING I would want to do if I was back in London for a week so here is a list of other bits and pieces:

Go to a gig in the Union Chapel. Go to a gig anywhere.

Go for a crepe from the Crepe de Hampstead.

Listen to Miserere by The Cat Empire

Go for a Burger at Hard Rock Cafe – it might sound touristy/clichéd BUT well worth it and the Californian is surprisingly wonderful

Take the Tube (yeah I’m a masochist) in rush hour mainly to see why people get so pissed off with it

If you MUST, then go and check out Westfield shopping centre in Shepherd’s Bush. It’s a super high-end shopping mall

Go see my Dad in Wembley - he's nice - and my Mum - she's super sweet.

I guess you should check out the Olympic Park (although I haven’t)

I need to state my undying love for my country – England -  and its capital city... the WORLD’S capital city - London. I miss you more than crumpets dear friend.

As usual. I love you all,

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