Monday, 5 March 2012

The day that made me smile to the core of my heart


I am only half a man without my pipe

Friends, another period of time has passed and thankfully we are reunited with our physical and mental health intact. For once I shan’t go down the faux-extistensial route about how fragile life is and how much we should cherish every second. Instead, I am going to tell you the story of what I consider to be the best full day – start to finish – almost since I first arrived here.  I appreciate that this a bold and superlative fuelled statement but I have slept on it for a few days and I stand by it.


Liquid Deco Shots - they're dangerously moorish
I will provide you with a little back story for your literary delectation. The resort has been FULL almost to the point of referring to its fullness as chock-a-block which is good for many reasons but mainly because a full resort is a happy resort. All the DMs and DMTs are busy, there is a full diving schedule and the gentle hubbub has been turned up to a roaring cauldron of activity. I have moved out of the DM village and into Grandma Darlene and Grandpa Al’s house with Our Old Friend as acting caretakers which I am very happy about not only because we get on very well BUT because it is nice to have your own self contained space AND the number of hilariously conjugated retorts never ceases to amaze me. Oh and the Liquid Deco Shots have been flowing.

Jari doing his thing

We have a new Rescue Diver/DMT to accompany Berlinda in the ‘journey’ to DiveMasterdom. His name is Jari from Finland and he will be juuuuust fine. If you imagine arriving to a new home to a game of Beer Jenga which had been underway for a while (therefore a fair few drunken people around), he settled straight in to bantering and drinking like a trooper. Welcome Jari. We look forward to many MANY more nights ahead.



The restaurant has been through a bit of a re-structuring under the guidance of Elin and so far the new roles are working like a dream. The standard has somehow increased with a new tinge of variation and much as it feels like a silly thing to talk about - the seasoning is now exemplary. I do have to add a small side point which relates to dessert. You and I already have preconceptions as to what ingredients usually furnish the sweet course of a meal so have a think on this – coconut porridge or maja blanca (coloured blue not white) with sweetcorn or banana and CHEESE crepes. Let me explain now thought that 90% of the time the desserts are magnificent but I had to give an honourable mention to these three.

For those of you who know me, I like to get a job done and I like to do it well. The hallowed day that I speak of is one of those rarities where I came away feeling like I could have done nothing better than what I did. The last few days had been busy in a fairly arbitrary way. I am affectionately known by the other local DMs as a DRIVEMaster as well as a DiveMaster because they see me driving the dive jeep as often as they see me leading dives. I have acted as an interim boat mechanic (I love getting messy trying to fix stuff); a dive guide and buoyancy guru, a never ending source of local knowledge, a cocktail developer as well as a focus for humour and beer. It was on a day punctuated by driving, carrying, liaising, smiling and planning.

The Cars - one Ferrari and one BMW
We had two new guests from Taiwan who were pretty serious divers and photographers who had been left in my charge to take them for two coastal dives using the Lobster. First of all, I LOVE driving that vehicle (it somewhere between a car and a tank). Secondly, as you know, I like to help newbies and pass on something I love, BUT it is wonderfully refreshing to dive without having to worry as much about your fellow divers’ ability. I was a TOUCH nervous because it is often the divemaster’s job to find little critters, interesting things to see as well as showing the dive site, this becomes increasingly prevalent with the divers’ ability mainly because the more ‘run of the mill’ fish you have seen, sadly, the less they are the focus for photographers. We were going to a site called Cars. Why is it called Cars? Is this a whitty, kooky joke? Nope. Basically there are two cars and a bunch of other foreign metal object sunk in the water at around 25metres. But this is pollution no? Under managed circumstances metal objects vastly encourage marine growth and much more so than natural organic matter. It will take around 6months for a metal object to be teeming with life whereas wood will take a few years to become ensconced with macro life.

Scorpion Fish
Ornate Ghost PipeFish

We walked into the water from the shore and meandered our way towards the cars. Me being me, I decided to take an alternative route via a few mooring blocks I knew of an BINGO we started off with a Donald duck shrimp and three sleeping juvenile lion fish. Confidence was on its way up. We moved deeper along the slope and found a few small coral lumps and some tangled rope where Cathy found a beautiful flamboyant cuttlefish – AWESOME. The three of us were a good team. I searched out the broader area ahead, I would alert Cathy to what I had found and she would wait for Star to come with his huge sea monster of a camera rig.  Star was busily and expertly taking photos always being careful not to get in anyone’s way or interrupting our marine hosts. I will not over describe what else happen EXCEPT what we found: two species of moray eels intertwined together, a scorpion fish, a large Sea Moth with iridescent blue fin tips, a bunch (not sure of the collective noun) of Lion fish – BEAUTIFULLY DANGEROUS, glass shrimp and 5, yes FIVE ornate ghost pipefish. The pipefish were a huge deal for me because I had never found ANY on my own before and they were the FIRST critters I was ever shown back on my first dive with DM Dan back in the day. Back then I had not real interest or understanding of the skill it takes to spot these tiny, camouflaged creatures so there was a nice circularity there for me.


There was a tidy little challenge embedded within this dive because it appears the Star and Cathy did not really need to breathe underwater, so for the first time in a LONG time, I was having to carefully monitor and ration my air consumption. It turns out that after an hour dive with most of it at a decent depth which increases consumption speed due to increased pressure and therefore air density, (well within our deco limits), we all finished with about a third of our air left. AWESOME DIVE. I could quite happily say that it was one of the best dives I have ever had the honour of being on let alone led. Adam = Happy BeardFace. The rest of the day panned out nicely, with fun and laughter, drinks were drunk and stories were shared. BLISS.

Since then I have lead many MANY customers around and continue to see amazing and beautiful creatures. I think I am in love with the ocean a little bit. I now have a favourite nudibranch (literal translation – naked lung because they breathe through their skin) Funeral Jurona. Having a favourite nudibranch was something I always gently scoffed at when i first started diving however, now I understand what the fuss is about. Look them up. 


Life here is becoming increasingly addictive. The people I call my friends are slowing setting up camp the long term section of my heart and I continue to look forward to writing to you. ALL OF YOU.

I have not been listening to as much music as usual BUT somehow (and I am not usually a fan) but FatBoy Slim’s – Don’t Let The man Get You down(Pay Your Debts) has been on constant rotation in my brain. Maybe it’s the aptness of the line “and the long haired freaky people need not apply...”

I hope whatever you are doing and wherever you are, I find you in good health and high spirits. I cannot wait to see you again and when I do... HUGS ALL ROUND!!! Hurroo!!

Love as usual,



A special thanks to Star, Mark Pacey and Anna for letting me use their photos in this blog!


PS. TELL YOUR FRIENDS

PPS. Yeah, that is a photo of me with a magnifying glass and 'smoking' my pipe while diving








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