OK OK OK...

...I know I said I'd write or call you back. It not you it's me. I think you're great but I'm just not ready... Oh wait. This was supposed to be for someone else.

It truly has been a while and for that I'm sorry. Last time I wrote I wasn't feeling great BUT I powered through better and BADDER than ever before. We were staying in a place called Long Lellang. I'd been there before as you might have noticed from a previous missive and so returning there was not a chore in the least. I THINK it's the closest I've come to finding my personal paradise on earth so far. There is a wonderful warmth in the people there and an unbridled beauty in the surrounding jungles as well as the valley within which the settlement nestles. It was a while ago but I'll fill as much detail as possible.

We arrived to the warm(ish) greeting from the house keeper who I affectionately call ibou (Ibou is Malay for mother. I'm unsure of her real name) and her husband. He ended up giving me a crazy foot massage to help my chest. Not sure if it worked but that man has STRONG hands. Wowser. The new 'leader' fella proved a touch lack lustre but I'm not going to go into it. We wandered into the jungle for a few hours and found ourselves on a beautiful hillside camp. Unfortunately. It. Rained. HARD. Constantly. I hear you're having a touch of rain in blighty. God bless summer eh!

We went back to ibou and paradise because it was two other guys birthday - a 21st and a 27th. Amazing fun. Massive food. And these incrEDIBLE (you see what i did there) steamed (yeah steamed) pink cupcakes. I had arranged the food with 'bou and so we didn't go hungry. 2types of curry. A few types of greens, pineapple curry, twice fried eggs in barbecue sauce (surprisingly amazing) oh gosh and so much more.

Over the next 10/12 days we learned some advanced medical training ranging from understanding antibiotics and medicines to learning how to administer injections with syringes, suturing and intra-muscular treatment with canulas and a drip. We had to practice putting the canulas on eachother. It was AWESOME. Very exciting and proud moment. We have also used the time to finnish some more assessments which I'm still doing really well at so fingers crossed, I'll be back here next year.

It was with great sadness that i left Long Lellang but i intend to go back in September. We had a few stop over nights in Miri which resulted in the usual lunacy and culinary over indulgence (2 KFCs. 1 sitting.) as well as a little bit of shopping - mainly t-shirts, vests and shorts. My feet had taken a battering and so i chose to forgo footwear for a while... Turns out i was also to go commando for a few weeks as well.

The first evening was followed with beers... Etc. I was reasonably sober and then Mike came out at around midnight after a long Skype with his lady. We decided to move lication and met the burger vendor (naturally a good friend of mine by now) and he took us out to a club. Heavy heavy techno with Malaysians dancing on every surface available. PERFECT. Alas the lights went up and we were left venueless. Fear not, we befriended some nice Sikh boys who told us about another club which they then proceeded to drive us to. This place was a DIVE bar. Actually, it turns out it was a gay dive bar. I'd always assume that to be an oxymoron. The men seemed to like it when a statuesque Dutchman (mike) and a Bearish type (me) wondered in. So much so that they errr... Kept... Errr tweaking my penis (mum, dad it's ok, i promise this has only strengthened my heterosexual resolve""". You will still have grandchildren). I DID take a while for mike and I to realise that not only were these friendly men gay BUT the friendly women were actually friendly gay transexual men. I had to use the line: 'I have a penis, do you have a penis?' The answer was yes. I walked away quickly... Turns out we were in Borneo's ONLY transexual/gay club... I wish I'd worn underwear... And shoes. We got home at 5:30am and left the hostel at 7 to head to Mulu.

MULU is a national park famous for its pristine (apart from the tourist walkways) jungle, it's mountains and caves. We wandered round a show cave... It was cavenous. I may or may not have gotten completely naked in the world's largest 'passage'. Next day we did some adventure caving which involved climbing stuff but underground. The chambers were quite magical and inconceivably dark which wasn't a surprise to me but worth a mention. We headed back to Miri. Drank and made merry in Miri (hehe) in order to fly to Kota Kinabalu the next day. Until this point we had be gallivanting through Sarawak. Now we hit Sabah

KK is a developed, touristy, busy city. not a massive fan but it is the gateway to Sabah. The interesting part was that we had no idea of a plan so we were told a budget and we knew we had 8people and 12 days to fill so we each headed off or hit the phones or the Internet to get things together. After much dancing about, we are about to head off on a 5day cycle and trek around Mount Kinabalu. This trip has never been travelled without local guides or external support. SO we were lent bikes and a 4wd pickup was organised by a former TrekForcer but we needed spare parts and a whole lot else in the space of a day and a half. I managed to secure about 300RM of discounts for 1500RM of stuff. It felt like an episode of The Apprentice although there were fewer twats. Fewer. Not none. Just fewer. I will write again after the bike trip... Although we will be heading to a desert island for a week so I might not write until after then.

Sloppy man-love

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WOW. Wasn't expecting THAT

Wow... Wasn't expecting THAT to happen

I'm lying in my hammock in the middle of FUCKING (sorry mum) nowhere. We're 1/2 days shorts of having trekked from Bario to Long Lellang and it has been a bit of a roller coaster... Almost literally.

Firstly I'd like to highlight how much fun it is to use the double 'k' in trekked. Thanks.

The total journey is something like 50km which doesn't sound like a lot but if you imagine that this is up and down mountains in jungle, with 20kg bag on your back. Oysh. It's a toughie. Me being me though I thought I'd up the ante so I developed some kind of chest/throat virus on day two. This basically rendered me perma-breathless and dizzy. Not ideal I hear you say?! No. Not ideal. The poor medic - Dr Doug - who had only arrived two days earlier basically had to recommend me rest which had to be translated to 'walk 10hours a day up hill'. I send this message a little bit tentatively because I know you might worry but I want you to rest easy. I'm better now. By the time I'll have sent this, I'll be holed up in the presidential suite in our accommodation. I have to add here that if it weren't for the team of people I was surrounded by, I've got no doubt things would have been far worse. A group of individuals. No. STRANGERS but a few months ago showed more love, depth of character, guts and resilience this last week than I would have ever though possible. We are all, quite rightly, very proud of ourselves. 

(Since initially writing this I've arrived safely but I think my body has given up the goat a bit so I'm going to stay in bed for a little while. I reckon 2-3 days should do it! LIFE'S TOUGH EH!!)

Having been to Long Lellang before, Jim and I have organised for Deer Rendang to be waiting for us. This is what kept me going. That and imagining my beautiful SPACIOUS bed in blighty.

I've decided to book into a hotel for a night in Miri to pamper myself. I'm also thinking i might TRY and comeback for a few weeks at Christmas. IF you think you can handle it, I will be doing a non-stop tour of every eating establishment in the UK during this period. Any suggestions kindly welcomed.

This last week has been by FAR the toughest physical challenge I've ever faced. Has it whetted my appetite for more? Not sure. Ask me another time.

I know I've only been gone a short while BUT I think often how much I love(d) hugging/laughing with/talking to/being near you. I appreciate this is a group message but it's to a group of people I qualify my life by. I think my life is pretty spectacularly awesome so thank you for that.

Internet here is woeful otherwise I'd call. Also sorry if I haven't sent you a personal email please do not be upset with me, I will. One day. 

I don't want to make this part clichéd BUT, you're rarely out of my thoughts and those times in between, you are carried safely and warmly in my heart. 

Much love as always,

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=

So far...

It's been roughly a month since I left and it's been pretty much non-stop but in a very good way - definitely appreciate the downtime a LOT!

It's hard to explain what we've been doing so I'll list what comes to mind and expand on the fun bits.

In Bario - an agglomeration of small villages set amongst the Kelabit highlands - we stayed in a beautiful (but basic) long house. This was our base. From there we would trek for 5hours with bags and kit and food to get to our jungle camps called Silverleaf and Hornbill.

Initially we learned basic jungle skills which mainly involved not being a twat. There was a fair amount of acclimatisation to do both physically and mentally. It's a strange place the jungle. I like it. A few of the others dont. You can't see the sky so you dont see sky it for a week at a time so some of the guys got a bit 'jungle feverish'. We played with our parangs (Malay machetes) learned to make fire, brushed up on navigation and got our heads round jungle chores. The hardest part is probably putting on soggy boxers each morning because you spend the day in your 'wet kit'. My wet kit started to smell like death no matter how often I washed it.  It didn't take long for conversation to revolve around shitting and eating but it's something we all enjoy!!

We had 2 solo nights where we wandered off with all our kit and some rations and were told to return the next day. The first night did not go very well. I spilt water over my fire so I ended up having a tin of cold sweetcorn for dinner. It's ok though. I like sweetcorn. The second attempt 10days later went much better but I ended up cooking my noodles in strawberry flavoured water because I'd added tang to it for the trek. Oh well. Sweet and savoury in one meal!

Since then we've been learned more and more detailed and intricate first aid. I properly loved it! We started to put the casualties into scenarios with one of us leading and the others acting as manpower for clearing evacuation paths, comms to the outside world, note taking, running around... Again. PROPERLY love this. Next we were assessed on this. Colin and Jade (our trainers and casualties) prepared us very well for this. The funny part was that ANY moment they would go missing. Day or night... We each had turns as the designated leader and had to use our resources to FIND the person, assess any danger, nominate a medic and generally manage the situation. I got a good pass which is the equivalent of a merit. Very happy with that.

Food in general is pretty shit. It's either rice/noodle based or porridge. The highlight was probably spaghetti with a creamy mushroom sauce. I say creamy mushroom. I mean tinned mushrooms with their juice with milk powder and condensed milk added. The trade-off is food is heavy but it tastes nice. Rationing is a tricky one to get right.

We're (Jim and I) are off to a place called Long Lellang now. To see if there are any projects that TrekForce could use for future groups. There is a fair amount of paper work to go with it so our downtime will be pretty busy... I'll let you know more when I know more!

All in all, I feel pretty lucky to be here. I get to utter/mumble/ponder my favourite phrase - LIFE IS GOOD - often. Some of the others are starting to use it too. I think I could see myself doing this for a year or two. Who knows.

I think of you all often. Miss you sometimes. Love you always.

Take it easy,

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